The Liz Mair Debate Questions Challenge (An Extremely Unlikely GOP Candidate Answers Extremely Unlikely Debate Questions)

That's how you debate.

Last night's Republican debate on CNBC was a complete mess.  The narrative coming from the candidates is that the questions were "unfair". That's a nonsensical accusation but the moderation was in deed terrible and there was an almost constant din of three people speaking at once in between the questions. The panelists were unable to regain control and it was terrible television. Tonight several of the campaigns announced that they will be meeting on Sunday to discuss a new format for the future debates. If I had a vote, it would be for more debates with fewer candidates. Imagine 3 debates with 4 candidates each, chosen at random.  That will never happen because the networks want Trump in every debate. 

A much better but equally improbably proposal was made by Liz Mair on Twitter last night. Ms. Mair is a former adviser to several major Republican candidates, including Carly Fiorina and Rich Perry. She has been a guest on Real Time with Bill Maher and is one of the most intelligent right-wing voices on Twitter. (That praise is more faint than I intended. She is worth following: @lizmair.)

Her proposal was not for a new format but for better questions.  She posted 18 questions that she would want the candidates to answer.  I would LOVE to hear Presidential candidates answer these questions. I never will, but I decided to do the next best thing: answer them myself.  Spoiler alert: I will not be the 2016 Republican nominee for President of the United States.  Here goes nothing.

Q1: Get your tax person up on stage with you. Here's a whiteboard. Do the math on your tax and spending plan. Show me deficit reduction.

Well there goes the nomination for me.  In this fantasy scenario where I am running for President I would have fleshed out a much more specific proposal but here's the broad strokes:

1. Tax hikes for income rates over $125,000 , with income taxes above $200,000 going back to pre-Bush rates.  
2.  Eliminate the preferential treatment of capital gains. (Tax investment income at the same rate as earned income.)
3. Raise the cap on pay roll taxes, over 10 years to $200K.
4. Increase the federal gas tax by 5 cents a gallon.
5. Increase the Estate Tax to pre-Bush levels.

I don't know how much more revenue that would generate, but it would be significant.  In a rational party, this would be well received. 

Q2: If you failed that question, here's a pie chart showing how much we spend on everything. What are you prepared to cut, right now?

I would make very steep cuts to defense spending. I would roll back our submarine fleet and I would kill some of the unwieldy impractical weapons programs like the F-35. But while we are being honest, I would turn that money around to spend on useful infrastructure programs like roads and bridges.


Q3: Here's a map. Find these places on it right now: Tblisi, Kiev, Islamabad, Kabul, New Dehli, Beijing.

This obviously is a visual question, but I'll do my best to explain how I would do. I know Tiblisi is the capital of Georgia, and Georgia is directly south of European Russia. I have no idea where within Georgia Tiblisi, so I would put a dot right in the middle of that country. (Since she didn't specify, I will assume this map has lines for national borders.)

Kiev is the capital of Ukraine, and it's in the eastern part of the country, more southern than northern. (I think.) Islamabad is the capital of Pakistan and it's up north, closer to India than Afghanistan. Kabul is the capital of Aghanistan and it's in the northeast portion of the country. New Dehli is the capital of India, and it's pretty close to the border with Pakistan. Beijing is the Capital of China and it's well the Northeastern part of the country but I'd be fudging the exact location.

Q4: Now, who runs each of the countries in which those cities sit? Ever met any of them? Ever talked to any of them?

Ukraine: I know they had a very attractive female President for a while, but she's out of office now. I don't know....Plitcheko? Total guess. I know he doesn't like Russia.
Georgia: No idea
Pakistan:  His name is Hussain. That's all I know about him.
India's Prime Minister is named Modi  He held a big rally in Madison Square Garden last year. I think he was accused of ethnic cleansing when he was a governor. That's about all my Moodi knowledge.
China: Xi Jinping.  The worlds worst Communist. He was at the White House a few weeks ago.

Q5: Who's the British PM? Who's the Canadian PM? Who's the German Chancellor? Who's the Russian President? Met any of these people?

David Cameron, Justin Trudeau, Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin.  No, I have not met any of them but I obviously know a lot more about NATO countries than the rest of the world.

Q6: Are you for free trade?
Generally, yes. That might be I would lose the Democratic primary too.

Q7: Do you think immigration is a net positive or a net negative for our country? Will you make it easier to come here legally?

Net positive and yes, absolutely. Sad to think that none of the candidates on that stage could have given this simple answer.

Q8: What will you do about the 12m people currently here? If you say "deport," show me your math to prove it's doable & inexpensive.

If I was running for Dictator, I'd wave a magic wand and make them all legal. Because I have to provide political cover to congress, I will agree to some stupid points system that punishes people for having committed crimes and to generate some revenue I would agree to a substantial fee for the process. Oh and I would call the form a Ted Cruz form, because he's an evil dickhead.


Q9: Show me your actual health care plan. No, an actual plan. No, writing "repeal Obamacare" on the whiteboard doesn't count.

Well, I suppose we have to give Obamacare 10 years or so to work but I'd love to lay the ground work for states to be able to experiment with single payer systems. That will have to be surreptitious.

Q10: Name 15 specific regulations that you know hamper small business right now, and explain how, in detail.
I can't name 3. But this would be a great excuse to rail against the drug war. Hopefully by this point Chris Christie will have given his eloquent defense of Fantasy Football and I can point out the hypocrisy of him wanting to throw people in jail for smoking weed.

Q11: How will you fix education in this country. In detail. No, "repeal Common Core" does not count as "in detail." You can phone a friend.

I would reduce standardized testing and rebuild our arts and music programs. I would double the time devoted to physical education and I would make federal funds available to high schools that create programs oriented toward skilled professions. In short: more band, more gym, more shop.

Q12: Do you really think we can defeat ISIS. If so, how? Be specific. How much are you willing to spend to do it? How do we measure success?

No. the cost of winning a military struggle against them would not justify the costs. And if we entered that fight in full-force it would legitimize the Jihadists' narrative that the United Stats is at war with Islam. The long term solution to groups like ISIS is for a non-fundamentalist version of Islam to become mainstream and acceptable in the Arab world. I don't know how to bring that about but it's not worth a trillion dollars and several thousand American lives to find out.

Q13: Have you ever met Bibi Netanyahu? How about King Abdullah of Jordan? Any other Middle Eastern leaders?

I have not had the pleasure. This is the one question that I would probably re-work because it would be too sickening to watch all 10 of those jerks compete over how wonderful they think Netanyahu is.

Q14: Name 5 nominations you'd like to make to the Supreme Court.
I can't give names because the only people I know who would possibly be qualified are a few law professors that would be too embarrassed to read their name on my shitty blog so I will give 5 categories of people I would like on the bench:

1. Someone with an advanced degree in a hard science.
2. A lifelong criminal defense attorney. (So the 4th amendment has a chance.)
3. Someone that went to a non-elite Law School. We've had way too many Harvard, Yale and Stanford grads on the bench. How about a UCLA or a Minnesota?
4. Someone from Staten Island so all 5 Boros can be represented on the court.
5. A WASP. It's crazy that our entire Supreme Court is made up of (6) Catholics and (3) Jews.

Q15: Describe to me the precise process you will use to stop abortions happening after 20 weeks & how you'll deal w legal challenges...

Obviously this is a quesiton that only works at a Republican debate. The scientific consensus is that fetuses are incapable of experiencing pain until the 26th week. A policy of ending abortions six weeks before that line is crossed is not something I could ever support.  What I would like to do as President is force the proponents of such laws to explain what the specific punishments should be for a woman who has an abortion during week 21 and for the doctor who performs the procedure. 


Q16: What caused the 2008 financial crisis? What do you think the next crisis might be? How about the next bubble? How will you stop it?

The three principal causes were the Bush Tax Cuts, the 2005 reforms of the bankruptcy code and the extremely suspect lending practices of the home mortgage loan. I think the next crisis might related to student loan debt. I would try to work reductions in the interest rate on student loans into the budget over time, but they would be gradual. I would also love to gradually eliminate the mortgage interest deduction over a course of several decades. It would be unfair to hit homeowners with that hit immediately but if you reduce it by 5% a year for 20 years, the real estate market will absorb that shock.

Q17: What is your biggest weakness
I get bored with ambitious projects before they are completed.

Q18: Who's your political hero? Note: You cannot say Ronald Reagan. I repeat: You cannot say Ronald Reagan.
The 40th president of the United States. (Ha! I played by your rule, Ms. Mair.) Okay, in all seriousness it's FDR.
Q19: What will you use the bully pulpit for as President? Recognizing that you won't be able to/want to legislate/regulate everything.

Secularism and the need for evidence-based reasoning, especially in the sciences. I would also beat the drum for baseball as our national past time and refuse to meet with any soccer team, no matter how many trophies they win. In my administration, the Vice-President will handle the soccer photo ops, no exceptions.

Q20: Explain to me what net neutrality means, in theory and in practice? Can't do it? Phone a friend. Now, same deal re: patent reform.

Net neutrality is the very important concept that Internet Service Providers can not favor certain contents over other content. I am less familiar with patent reform but I believe it relates to eliminating predatory practices like patent trolling.